The unseen hand…

For many reasons, I’ve been fairly focused on why so many people act in underhanded ways, especially after recently observing some highly questionable procedures in a social/business environment where teamwork should have been the main event in the situation. My focus reminded me of Machiavelli’s theory where he observed that, under competitive conditions, humans pursue their main goals with increasing levels of ruthlessness along with manipulativeness, cynicism, selfishness, callousness and a great deal of arrogance. Sometimes, it’s a reminder to hide the knives and other sharp objects.

He believed that people are fundamentally selfish, fickle, ungrateful, and driven by self-interest, often at the expense of others. He argued that because humans are inherently unreliable, a ruler (or those thinking they are rulers) must be pragmatic and, if necessary, ruthless to maintain power and stability. He famously stated that “the ends justify the means,” suggesting that individuals often do not hesitate from using deceit, manipulation, or even cruelty to achieve their goals and protect what they think is their position, or that of someone else.

Let’s face it, Machiavelli maintained a cynical view of human nature in which people are fundamentally self-interested, fickle, and driven by fear, ambition, and the desire for power. He argued that most individuals are willing to lie, manipulate, and exploit others to achieve their personal goals and will quickly change allegiances if they perceive a potential improvement in their lot. Couldn’t agree more, Niccolo, but, what is the answer behind it all? How do people cope with those hell bent on always holding one hand behind their back, poised and ready to act in some underhanded fashion to achieve their goal?

The answer, I am guessing, is fairly simple as attempting to understand the behavior exhibited is for a complex mix of reasons, most of which center on self-interest, a desire for control and underlying personal insecurities. It’s a form of manipulation used to achieve personal goals especially when direct and a lot more honest methods are viewed as ineffective, unavailable, or not capable of producing the desired outcome.

In many competitive environments, individuals may use underhanded tactics to secure an advantage over others. Paradoxically, many who act in underhanded ways often suffer from deep-rooted insecurity or a lack of self-confidence. That’s where manipulation comes in as it helps to compensate for a given inadequacy; by making others feel inferior or, by gaining control, they boost their own sense of self-worth. Negative behavior such as this can stem from the fear of negative consequences, rejection, disapproval or conflict. It’s also a way to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions, especially where past incidents have taken place, making it more difficult to obtain something like a professional or social status where an advantage over others might be secured.

Thrown into many underhanded scenarios can be a manifestation of personality traits. The individuals involved may lack empathy and have few qualms about being argumentative, even combative, in order to achieve their particular objectives. Understanding any of the dynamics involved requires looking far beyond the behavior itself into the deeper, underlying motivations and psychological factors that drive the individual in question, always with an unseen hand holding some self-serving motivation.

From the Writer’s Workshop: Share something that made you think this week.

Signature

Walk on your wild side…

Sometimes it is better to just walk away from things and go back to them later when you’re in a better frame of mind. Sounds good, doesn’t it? Realistically, this would depend on what side of the door your personality was behind, or if you had multiple personalities with endless sides that took center stage at a given moment. Whew. very “The Three Faces of Eve”!

There’s a deep meaning in the word “side”, possibly a cue to expand our horizons, appreciate life and stand firm in our convictions, or a reminder that we all need to step outside of our daily routine in pursuit of something fun or more meaningful which involves embracing new situations and perspectives. Given the many sides to our individual personalities (don’t deny this, we all have them) whether our dark side or more playful side, it all adds up to being a complete and real person. When we walk away from a situation where stress is involved, a given side to our personality can dictate that response to effectively manage our emotions and avoid making impulsive decisions or an angry response. That “side” helps remove us from a toxic or emotionally charged environment, helping to diffuse the immediate tension and preventing a more serious conflict.

Walking (hastily) away from a given situation until one is in a better mood is a powerful form of self-care and a strategic way to manage emotions effectively, plus, this conscious decision to create physical and mental distance allows individuals to gain perspective and avoid making impulsive or rash decisions during times of high stress or anger. Removing yourself from a toxic or emotionally charged environment helps to diffuse the immediate tension and prevents the situation from escalating into a more serious conflict. This space provides a crucial “time out” to help process thoughts and feelings, leading to greater clarity if and when returning to the issue. It is an act of self-empowerment, prioritizing your mental well-being over engaging in a draining or unresolvable argument. By walking away, you are not giving up out of defeat, but rather making an intentional choice to invest your energy more wisely. This practice helps in setting important and healthy boundaries while fostering self-respect. Walking on your wild side can be so cathartic and empowering in the long run, helping to better navigate future stormy debates.

From the Writer’s Workshop: Write a post inspired by the word side./Write a post in exactly 15 (fifteen) sentences./Write a story that starts with the line “Sometimes it is better to just walk away from things and go back to them later when you’re in a better frame of mind.”

Signature

Silence speaks…

They called out my name time and again, but were met with nothing but silence.. How many of you reading this have experienced hearing your name called by several people, or just one person, either while sleeping, when home alone or even in a crowd? It might come across as a sharp voice in the night, a whisper from somewhere in the house or a simple nudge of the wind when out somewhere. We waken, with a bit of a jolt and look over our shoulder into the darkness. In a crowd, we search unknown faces for someone familiar. At home, we pause whatever we’re doing, look down the hallway or stairway. We wait for the mysterious whisper to repeat itself, this time with a bit more clarity and more familiarity.

I’ll bet it’s happened to you, hasn’t it? How did you respond IF you responded? I, for one, never have, not verbally, anyway. In my mind, I usually ask what the voice wants and do so politely. You never know who might be on the other side.

If ever I hear a voice while sleeping, I give myself time to wake up and think about where that dream was taking me. While home alone and a somewhat familiar voice calls my name in the stillness of the house, it usually takes me back to when my mother and her Alzheimer’s briefly lived with us. They were quite a strong-willed team. Back then, mother never called me by my name (she no longer knew me), it was usually a demanding, bellowing, profanity-laced, vocalization from our guest room. From behind her closed door, there were names I never heard before or comments I’ll avoid sharing here.

When out at a social event, or in a crowd, now and then I’ve heard my name called. That very well may have been directed to someone else called “Patty” but the sound of the voice was very familiar. The more I looked around, and listened, it quickly faded away and the silence that followed was full of unspoken, unanswered, questions.

Of course, our memories often replay the sounds of familiar voices which make it seem as if someone is calling out to us even when no one is there. It’s a brain game. Many like to believe that some spiritual entity is trying to reach out to us and the silence which follows is because a message was lost or unable to be delivered. Then, there’s the possibility of a premonition. Possibly, an important event, not necessarily bad or good, is about to take place. Taking steps further, the spirit behind the voice might be lonely and seeking to reach out for reasons unknown. Perhaps, the attempt is to make amends for a past transgression or seek validation from a hurt received; the entity behind the voice might want to warn of danger or even something a great deal more sinister. The silence that follows can be almost deafening.

However any of us have been met with silence, have responded the same way, and whether we choose to investigate further, will then shape the directions that our stories take. Such stories are meant to be shared. Silence seems to have a voice all its own.

From the Writer’s Workshop: Write a story starting with the line “They called out her name time and again, but were met with nothing but silence.”

Signature